Dispassionate Insensitive..Heartless!

How many times have you been accused of insensitive..accused of being heartless. I am sure many of us have accused others also of being insensitive and have wondered how can one afford to be on.
Recently my brother accused me of being one. I was aghast at the allegation. I could not gauge how could he accuse me of being insensitive and heartless for some fish in the tank. That too coming from a person who gorges on fish curry and fried fish. Until a few months back the fish tank was full of life, with a variety of fishes. People who visited us would spend time staring at the fishes and admiring how it was being maintained. Of late it has been in a state of neglect and fishes are falling dead one by one. On being asked by my mother as to why he was no more caring for it, he said he is overcome with grief and hence chose to stay away from it.
The reason, all the baby fish are dead, and I am the culprit. Few months back he was away for a week, and I was left to care for the fish tank. Unfortunately we ran out of fish food and I was not aware of the store that sells fish feed. I chose to feed them broken wheat rather than let them go hungry. The fishes were happy on being served their meal, but according to my brother that proved fatal. Fishes are not supposed to be fed broken wheat according to him and they started dying.
The death of fishes broke his heart; he had cared for them a lot. When they were born he fished them out of the main tank to prevent them being eaten by the bigger ones. He created a separate nursery for them, which was small bowl borrowed from the kitchen. He nursed them in the nursery till they grew enough to face the bigger fishes in the tank. My mother added her bit to the tragic story, she said, “ no matter how late he came, he would check on the baby fishes”.
Did this story cut ice with me? NOOO! I laughed it off. I could not imagine so much drama over some fishes. I have better things to worry about. I just don’t relate to it.
How one relates to events in everyday life decides how passionate or dispassionate we are to these events. I recall an interesting conversation when Anna Hazare’s fast against corruption stirred up the nation. People asked why Irom Sharmila, who has been fasting for 10 yrs now against the Armed Forces Special Power Act never got the kind of support that Anna did. It is quite simple, an issue like corruption is all-pervasive, and there is not a single person who does not relate to it.
If you ask about the draconian Armed Forces Special Power act, not many relate to it. Those powers are bestowed on the army where it is engaged in a battle against secessionist. Irom might be fasting for a cause she is passionate about, but I simply don’t relate to it. To her I might me heartless and insensitive to her cause but I have a reason not to be passionate about.

I never bothered to check on dogs until Prince my 9-year-old lab came in to our lives and occupied centre stage. Today I know every dog owner in my residential area, I am sympathetic and considerate towards strays. I can’t see them in pain, all because I relate to them.

I am a passionate dog lover impassionate towards fishes in the tank!

Ads : A reflection of Society

I am one of those who enjoy the ad breaks. I hum catchy ad jingles the way people hum movie/album songs much to the chagrin of friends and colleagues. Not that I am alone, I recall this woman during my childhood days who used to come home to watch ad’s and skip the movie!!!.

On a serious note I am a serious ad watcher. I think you can get an interesting peek in to the audience by observing ads; it reflects what matters to the audience at large. Even during my travels I surf channels to see what and how things are sold in every country.

There are certain things unique about selling in India. I have not seen bowls, spoons, glasses offered as freebies to market packaged edible goods in western countries. Here we see ads enticing customers with a free bowl if one buys biscuits/gulab jamuns etc. Though I don’t get enticed by these ads, I am sure this works because almost all manufacturer’s of FMCG goods employ this as their marketing strategy. This could be because of the Indian psyche, which looks for bargains and freebies. Most of the time the bowls, spoons, offered is not of good quality. Who cares if they are not, what matters is that you are getting them for free!.

If you have noticed health drinks like Horlicks, Complan etc, their ads always show mothers and sons . The daughter is missing. I think only Pediasure showed mom and a daughter, a rare departure. Ad gurus know India’s preference for the male child and how families doest find it worthwhile investing in their daughters. I think Pediasure’s sales would have fallen following their earlier ad, because the recent one features a male child.

The obsession to look fair is widespread across Asia. I have not been to Africa so cant comment. In Singapore / Hong Kong girls like being white skinned. TV is flush with ads that promise flawless fair skin. The fairness creams brands that turn yellow skin to white in HK and SG, is a very versatile product. The minute it reaches India, they start working on the brown Indian skin!. What is wrong in giving hope …smartly packaged in ads that target audience with surgical precision.

While these are amusing, the ad scene in the US is quite sad. Most common ads are those marketing anti depression drugs. Indians are frustrated and Americans are depressed. Honestly speaking the ads has the potential to make any one feel depressed. The blatant advertisement of such products, provide immediate succor, but doest not address the issue of loneliness and insecurity, the root cause of depression.

Unlike India , Lawyers in the US are allowed to advertise their services. Often you get to see ads asking people to come forward to claim damages for medical injuries and how they could be eligible for handsome settlements. No wonder Lawyers,Doctors & Insurance companies make a lot of money in the US.The only difference, Doctors make money to pay Insurance against such claims and Insurance in turn pays the Lawyers. They run an economy amongst themselves and provide employement to many I must say!

The next in line are those promoting libido, and health products. In a country where obesity is a major health problem, those promising a slim and trim figure are a hot sell. The kind of heavy people I saw there, nowhere else did I see. Drugs that enhance sexual performance target both middle aged men and woman. It indicates a high level of activity in that age group. I wonder what people in the land of Kamasutra do? we don’t have such ads. Wait a minute are we not supposed to let go of all desires once we touch middle age!.

Next time you see an ad, don’t just watch and forget it. Ads tell you a lot about the society that we live in, its preferences, issues, struggles all bundled and nicely packaged and presented in seconds!

My third meeting with god’s emissary

Today after a long break I took a bus for a visit to the doctor. It was raining and I was partially drenched but I was out to prove something. I was out to prove that I am independent, that I can do things for myself, that I can take an arduous route if need be. The fire in belly was ignited by two back-to-back incidents where I was refused help.

The last time also I proved that I could manage if denied help. It left a bitter taste in my mouth as I thought life is all about give and take. Here there was give, but no take. At first I asked my self if the take was too much and the answer was a clear no. I never took, the incidents were far and few between. Though I proved that I could do on my own, there was bitterness. This bitterness stemmed out of what we tend believe that it is our right to get help.

With all the bitterness I was in my world in the bus. As the bus station approached, the bus came to a halt. I did not get up to alight as the station was still a few yards away. Soon passengers got up to leave, that’s when I realized that there was major block ahead and we had to alight before our stop.

I was among the last few to leave. That’s when I noticed a girl asking if we have reached the station. I thought to myself that she probably would be traveling for the first time. The bus driver told her that she has to alight here and that we wont be going to the station. She got up to alight, that’s when I noticed, something wrong. She got up from her seat, which was bang opposite the exit and instead of getting out, started walking straight in to the area where the driver was. By this time I was about to alight and the driver asked me if I could help this woman. I turned to see and realized that the girl is blind. She did not have a walking stick, but wore dark glasses, but honestly speaking it looked like a designer sunglasses to me.

I offered to help her walk to the station. She is a pretty girl, I was surprised why she did not carry her walking stick, if she had one, people will be more considerate and understand her situation. She wore dark glasses, but they looked more like sunglasses. I could not ask her why she was not carrying a stick. While I was holding her hand and guiding her to the station, she was asking me to careful of the water puddles and that I might slip. She told me she commutes every day for work ,about 40 kms one way, taking a train and a bus. I dropped her at the station bridge. She said she can manage from there and that is where she gets down from the bus every day. We both thanked each other for the gesture.

I am sure everyone who is reading this will wonder why I should be thanking her. I think god reaches out to us through people. In those 15 minutes she gave me the answers that I was looking for. First if she can be on her own, why should some one like me who is blessed with all good things in life be dependent on any one. Second her decision not to use a walking stick. To me the walk stick stood for all things that we tend to dependent on. She did not want to announce to the world her disabilities nor was she expecting sympathies. Her decision not to use one taught me, that although there are people and things that we can depend on and make our life easier, you could also do without them. Depending on them at times becomes a habit and we start underestimating ourselves.

The bus ride was worth it, because it killed my bitterness. I met god again, my third experience in the past one-year.