Today after a long break I took a bus for a visit to the doctor. It was raining and I was partially drenched but I was out to prove something. I was out to prove that I am independent, that I can do things for myself, that I can take an arduous route if need be. The fire in belly was ignited by two back-to-back incidents where I was refused help.
The last time also I proved that I could manage if denied help. It left a bitter taste in my mouth as I thought life is all about give and take. Here there was give, but no take. At first I asked my self if the take was too much and the answer was a clear no. I never took, the incidents were far and few between. Though I proved that I could do on my own, there was bitterness. This bitterness stemmed out of what we tend believe that it is our right to get help.
With all the bitterness I was in my world in the bus. As the bus station approached, the bus came to a halt. I did not get up to alight as the station was still a few yards away. Soon passengers got up to leave, that’s when I realized that there was major block ahead and we had to alight before our stop.
I was among the last few to leave. That’s when I noticed a girl asking if we have reached the station. I thought to myself that she probably would be traveling for the first time. The bus driver told her that she has to alight here and that we wont be going to the station. She got up to alight, that’s when I noticed, something wrong. She got up from her seat, which was bang opposite the exit and instead of getting out, started walking straight in to the area where the driver was. By this time I was about to alight and the driver asked me if I could help this woman. I turned to see and realized that the girl is blind. She did not have a walking stick, but wore dark glasses, but honestly speaking it looked like a designer sunglasses to me.
I offered to help her walk to the station. She is a pretty girl, I was surprised why she did not carry her walking stick, if she had one, people will be more considerate and understand her situation. She wore dark glasses, but they looked more like sunglasses. I could not ask her why she was not carrying a stick. While I was holding her hand and guiding her to the station, she was asking me to careful of the water puddles and that I might slip. She told me she commutes every day for work ,about 40 kms one way, taking a train and a bus. I dropped her at the station bridge. She said she can manage from there and that is where she gets down from the bus every day. We both thanked each other for the gesture.
I am sure everyone who is reading this will wonder why I should be thanking her. I think god reaches out to us through people. In those 15 minutes she gave me the answers that I was looking for. First if she can be on her own, why should some one like me who is blessed with all good things in life be dependent on any one. Second her decision not to use a walking stick. To me the walk stick stood for all things that we tend to dependent on. She did not want to announce to the world her disabilities nor was she expecting sympathies. Her decision not to use one taught me, that although there are people and things that we can depend on and make our life easier, you could also do without them. Depending on them at times becomes a habit and we start underestimating ourselves.
The bus ride was worth it, because it killed my bitterness. I met god again, my third experience in the past one-year.
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