Influencing

My cousin recently pointed out to me that unlike her I do not force people to change their opinions. Am I bad at the art of influencing. So many years in the corporate world has forced me to look at every feed back from a corporate angle. But she was not referring to that angle.

Me and my cousin always have long conversation on views that we both have. She according to her tries her best to convince people that what she says is correct, whereas in my case I hear them out and tell them where I stand and what I believe. She thought my approach was not correct.

To be very frank I agree in her opinion about me. But I have a reason, life's experiences have taught me that we never get to know the full story. No matter how much we open up, there are some facts which we end up keeping with ourselves, consciously or unconsciously. More over when we open, our expression is influenced by our state of mind, these expressions are facts combined with interpretations. The listener at the other end would totally depend on us to give an opinion , so the output has to do with the input.

I have always had people lean on my shoulders ..so much so that I at times felt that there is this pull in me which draws people towards me to share their sorrows...which at times can drain you. I hear every one out . When it comes to give my opinion, I don't take extreme postures, neither do I endorse blindly what they feel or make out of the situation. This is because I always think what we get to hear is at the max, 80% of what would have transpired. Of that 80%, a great % is based on ones interpretation of things. In such a case the best stand that I take is present in black and white all possible outcomes and solutions.

I never zero in on a final decision for others. I let them take that, not because I do not know how to influence, it is because I don't want to influence solely based on what I heard them say.

It is human nature, we will never be able to say everything about our life, for various reasons.